kat

I might be having a lot of pain. I might be coming off a long hospital stay, but damn its going to turn into something good.

the older i become, the less tolerant i become of stupid.

i dont really care when people do stupid things like date jerks, spend huge amounts of money on a wedding and boss around their friends, hoard seven years of garbage or do seven different drugs everyday, but i HATE it when I find something out like that about someone and learn they are a parent.

whats worse is when they KNOW they are a trainwreck, and wont a) get help and try to change or b) let someone else take care of their kid and support them financially.

i get it that people make mistakes. i dont judge them for that. its when they dont even want to make the effort.

it pisses me off and im sick of playing fake nice about it. ive heard men and women both blame the ex, the system, whatever, and yeah, its possible those things are fucked up, but JUST GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!

im not passively-aggresively calling anyone out i know personally. my friends are good mothers. they inspire me to be a better mother.

thats how it should be!

For a long tome I refrained from talking about religion on lj because I didn't want to be a bible thumper, or thought of as some religious nut, but now I really don't care.

I was baptized LDS November 11 2007. I initaially wanted to be LDS because the people who loved and took care of me and always stood by me were LDS. And I always felt the spirit from the missionaries. I thought certain people wouldn't accept me, and although some didn't, most did.

I've been active off and on these past years, but I know now I want to be active, I want to raise my family LDS. I want to be THAT Mormon.

Some common symptoms of diabetes include:

• Frequent urination
• Excessive thirst
• Extreme hunger
• Unusual weight loss
• Increased fatigue
• Irritability
• Blurry vision

And if you are pregant:

• Poorly controlled diabetes before conception and during the first trimester of pregnancy can cause major birth defects in 5% to 10% of pregnancies and spontaneous abortions in 15% to 20% of pregnancies.

• Poorly controlled diabetes during the second and third trimesters of pregnancy can result in excessively large babies, posing a risk to both mother and child.

As a type 1 diabetic, I want you to be aware of the signs of diabetes so you can avoid complications. Keep an eye out for these signs in yourself and your loved ones. And if you know me, I would be glad to test your blood glucose!

i met this lady who is pure sunshine. she just brings happiness everywhere. i have not known her too too too long, but she makes me feel like she cares about me and i believe it. she has inspired me to be more like that. so i want to spread happiness everywhere! im on the lookout for opportunities to spread joy.

i am a lurker.

welcome new member
depressed haikus are the shit
happy to have you

*******sweet NEUTERED male silver cat*******very sweet, indoor or outdoor, housebroken. pictures available on request.

i never sleep. ive been detoxing since like midnight and all i want is peanut butter twix. i want it bad. but no. im seriously committed to healing myself of feeling like shiv and being hospitalized and in pain and a sourpuss. and i have to do it. cause i cant keep being sick. this is harder than when i quit smoking. all of the times.

juno. we saw it when it first came out. we really liked it, and then i forgot about it. then e brought it home and ive watched it seventy-one times. its always in the background. then last night i dreamt i bought the soundtrack. is there a more perfect movie?

i was folding the laundry and I realized how life living alive i am and WHEN did I stop having fun and why did I stop being silly. im happy and I want skip down broadway and dance and if a double deckah busssss craaaaashes into uhhhhsss to die by your side, well, the pleasure, the privilege is miiiiihnee.....i just have all these happy memories and they all predate the year 2004. i feel alive. i feel like so much lighter.

so happy to be back on lj. cant sleep. watching Gia. one of my all-time favorites. right up there with fight club and shaun of the dead. ive beeen so sick lately. think i might be coming around or else the airborne works.

i want to be in a stage production of grease.

i have to ask this. why would gay marriage threaten hetero marriage? its like saying english muffins threaten toast!

as most of my friends know, i dont discuss politics. but if i did, i would definitely express how i feel. i really want a cig right now. but i quit.

I have been married for a long time. my husband doesnt listen to rap. ever. i do sometimes, and i sometimes wish someone had dedicated a rap song to me, like plies busted baby, or shorty. but the only guy i dated who listened to rap would probably not think of me as his busted baby. more like his nagging, non pot-smoking, never wanting to ride in a broke down car, hot boxin, listening to outkast, eating jack n the box baby. but there is no song like that.

my friend invites me over then spends the entire time on the internet. so i try to leave and she says no no stay. so i do, and shes back on the mf internet.

low carb is the only way. i cant spend every f ing minute on diabetes and i cant become the f ing disease. right now its living me and i need to kill it. ive given up so much over it. what i have left, im not giving up until im in the ground. im done being in the hospital and done with talking and blogging about it. its all my friends and family know about me anymore. so here goes. hard it goes. ------------------I JUST HAVE TO EAT THE SAME EXACT THINGS EVERYDAY. no more highs or lows.

test

I've been hospitalizes FIVE TIMES since september. Once in ICU for three days.
I cant seem to get a handle on this disease. I've got kidney problems, neuropathy. (sp?) I'm Nothing like I used to be.

I'm taking all my correct doses and following my eating plan and counting, measuring, testing and some people don't believe me.

Some doctors are nice and want to help, but some accuse me of being suicidal or being non compliant or lying but I have nothing to gain, and everything to lose by letting diabetes consume me.

WTF?

Yesterday they said my kidney medication was causing by sugars to go nuts and I tried expalining that to friends and family. I just want to have happy healthy and have energy.

ADVICE?

Because I feel so out of it and a failure and I dont want to keep getting worse and worse and I hate that my whole life and friends and families life are affected by my diabetes.